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The Brown Family

A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

I am thrilled to share our adoption story with everyone, but especially those who are at any point in the waiting process. I hung-out on this site for months while dreaming of our child!

We are Jacci and Steve Brown and we live in Charlotte, NC. We have been married for 5 years and have wanted children from the time we met! After years of infertility, we decided to search for an agency and a fertility specialist at the same time. One way or another, there would be a Baby Brown!

We became fertility specialist drop-outs after 1 month. At that time, we made our initial application to Carolina Adoption Services in Greensboro, NC in October of 1998. Originally, we were in the China program, but switched to Viet Nam when we found out we were too young. We were thrilled to think we would have our baby home by the summer!

WAITING

We quickly put our dossier together. Life became one huge list of crossing things off. We submitted on March 29, 1999. The agency said it would be anywhere for 0-60 days for referral. This was definitely the hardest part of the whole process. We waited and waited. We finished the nursery, we checked our answering machine from work, we read books on Viet Nam. We had a song that reminded us of our baby to be that we listened to when we got in the car, "To Make You Feel My Love," off of the "Hope Floats" soundtrack. We picked out a million names. Boys and girls ...... .if they would just call!

REFERRAL

We finally received an e-mail from Viet Nam on May 24, 1999. We had a rule between us that we HAD to wait for the other before opening the attachment! My husband downloaded without telling me it had arrived and said, "Hey, Jac, What is this?" I walked over to the computer and there was a photo of a beautiful little boy!

His name is Van Minh Thanh, born April 1, 1999. His medical was attached and also a note wanting to know when we could travel! It all seemed so unreal! We memorized that photo and made a billion copies!

TRAVEL

We left for Viet Nam on June 4, 1999. Just 9 short days after referral. We would be making 2 trips in order to complete our adoption. It was all so rushed that I do not think it all seemed real. As we were boarding the plane, my mom yelled out, "Give him a kiss from his Grandma!" That was all it took, as we both began to cry. We really were going! The flight was great and was such an adventure. I carried a framed referral photo with me the whole trip. We arrrived in Ho Chi Minh City to a rushed and busy airport. We exited to see a smiling , waving, woman holding up a sign............THE BROWNS!

GETTING SETTLED

The girl’s name was Anh Tuyet. She was an employee of our facilitator and would be helping us with the baby and getting around HCMC. She took us to our hotel and we kept insisting that they please bring our baby to meet us. We were very jet lagged, hungry, and nervous, but could not wait any longer! She smiled and said that we should get showered , unpack, eat, and rest. She stated that the first night will be long. The baby may keep us up and we were already tired from our travels. So, we did all that she suggested, except sleep. We were so pumped up that sleeping was out of the question.

Our facilitator arrived to meet us. It was so nice to finally meet the name we were working with for so many months. He asked us to join him in the hotel bar for a drink, "before your baby arrrives." We proceeded to the bar and were served a warm beer. I honestly do not recall the conversation. I could not comprehend that we were about to meet this baby we loved at first photo.
Our facilitator’s cell phone rang,. He talked and hung up. He then asked us to drink quickly..... "Your baby will be here shortly."

A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

Of course, finishing my beer was completely out of the question!  This was really going to happen!  We all went upstairs to our hotel room.  It was then and there that Steve and I started to pace.  Today, just thinking of these couple of minutes in our lives makes me cry.  But at the time, I pretty much laughed and paced!

In the five minutes we waited for them to bring our son to meet us,  a million thoughts ran through my mind.  FINALLY ... all of our work over the last few months made sense.  Applications, money, fingerprints, social workers, birth certificates, the agency, INS, passports, employment letters, notarizing, I171H, referral, travel agents, packing, a long flight ..... this was it!

Then, I looked at my husband and said, "Can you believe this?"  If you would have told us 10 years ago that I would be having a moment like this, I would have said you were crazy.  For all of you waiting,  this is what it is all about. It actually does happen.

Knock, Knock ....... and in walked Anh Tuyet holding this little boy in a blue sleeper and white cap. The first thing that jumped out at me was his beautiful, big, brown eyes.  I "gathered"  him from her and kept saying in a whisper, "Hi." Steve and I stared at him, laughed, shook our heads.  He was perfect!  I had envisioned his arrival daily during our waiting period.  I pictured me sobbing and carrying on ... didn't happen ... it really was a feeling of peace.  Finally, the three of us were together.

THE PROCESS BEGINS

Now the real work begins.  Getting Jack home was a whole other adventure.  For some reason, my daydreaming stopped at the point of meeting.  I had no feeling except wanting him home.  This was the first of two trips to get our son home.

THE FIRST TRIP - SUBMITTING AND MEETING HIS BIRTHFAMILY

On our first trip we were to submit all of our paperwork. It was a very easy paperwork trip.  We were very fortunate to meet Jack's birthfamily.  We met his siblings, birthmother, and grandparents.  There is no way to explain that meeting.  I would not trade it for anything.

We first met in the district his family lived.  We stood on a corner and waited for her to come to our initial meeting at the commitee.  She rushed up to him and kissed him a zillion times.  At that point, she was separated from him for 10 days.  I watched her talk to him, and squeeze him, and wipe her eyes.  I watched her feed him, smile at him, and I watched her look at us. I tried everything I could think of to not cry.  Everything.  Nothing worked and I cried with her.  There was so much I wanted to tell her. I wanted to reassure her that he would be okay. That I PROMISE to love him and take care of him. But no words could ever convey that. By the end of our adoption and after spending days together over 2 trips to HCMC,  I believe she knew we loved him and wanted him so badly. Our meeting was good for both of us. I feel she was reassured to know who would be raising him and I feel so priveledged to raise him as our son. I think of her daily. When he is good, bad, sick, or laughing. I really cannot wait to tell him how much she loved him. I feel no insecurity in that. When he asks how I know,  I can tell him that I both saw and felt her love when she held him.

Our first trip was short. We then had a waiting period of 40 days. We returned home and waited. I see that 40 days apart from him as a great insight to what the birthmother feels. I had to trust that he would be okay until we returned. We trusted complete strangers to care for our son until we could return. The three of us were apart and it just wasn't right.

THE SECOND TRIP AND COMING HOME

Our second trip was uneventful. We enjoyed being able to see Viet Nam together as a family after our Giving and Receiving Ceremony on July 19, 1999. We had spent a couple more days with his birthmother and siblings.  She helped get all of his paperwork finalized. We have many photos of all of us together. We were ready to come home and have Jack meet his new family! We arrived home on July 29, 1999 to an anxiously awaiting group!  More tears and more laughter!  We did it!!!!

Jack is approaching his first birthday and we are excited about starting the process again.  It was such an adventure and as many times that I tell the story,  I will never do it justice.  It is an awesome way to become parents!

See More Photo's of Jack in the FCV Photo Gallery.

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