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The Henderson Family

Our journey to our daughter Maggie was a journey in many ways. It involved two long journeys over the Pacific Ocean for me, and a giant journey of faith for our entire family.

"We're not ready," were my husband Josh's first words when I broached the topic of an international adoption. He explained that he very much wanted to adopt a baby "one day", but considering our circumstances he did not think that this was the best time. And he was right! It certainly wasn't a logical decision. At the time, our three young biological sons were 4 ½ years old, 3 years old and 1½ years old and we were a young couple of 24 and 26, living paycheck to paycheck on a tight budget. So my husband's plan to give it five years or so was more than realistic and understandable.

But even though I agreed with him, I just could not get the idea out of my head. I spent lots of time on the Internet learning as much as I could about international adoptions and the choices in countries and programs and agencies. At times it certainly was overwhelming! But more and more I was feeling that the daughter that we so much wanted to add to our family needed us to start the process much sooner than we were planning, and although he was slow to admit it, Josh was feeling it too.

Our families were very much freaking out! Both of our families are very loving and usually very supportive of us, but this was certainly not something they thought we should be doing. They thought that we were jumping into it, and they knew that we did not have the money in hand to pay for it. They worried about all sorts of things and asked us to reconsider. My Dad told me that deep down he knew that if we had our hearts and minds made up, then we were going to make it happen. We asked them all to pray about it and see if they got them same feeling of peace that we did.

We planned a rummage and bake sale for the first week of August. All of the people in our small town (under 2000 people) knew what we were raising money for and so many people donated items to sell and then came back to buy things and donate some money. It was absolutely amazing. At the end of the day Josh and I sat down and counted over $4,000, and we knew again that there certainly was a child that belonged in our family. We sat down and cried over the miracle we had seen!

Our dossier was complete and on it's way to the Embassy and then to Vietnam, where it arrived on August 13. It was so neat to know that we were officially "waiting"!

The wait was hard! Harder than I thought. Josh was prepared for it, but I for some reason thought that it would be easy. Ha!

On October 15 we got word that three baby girls had been brought into the orphanage from the maternity hospital and that the first one to have their police investigation and medical completed would be our daughter! It was so exciting! And then on October 25 we got a short email saying we had a baby girl! They could not give us any info about her until it was approved by the People's Committee, but it was a wonderful feeling just to know that there was a baby out there with our name on her!

Our daughter's birth name was Vo Thi Kim Phuong and she had been born on September 30, 2001 weighing 2.6 kg. Kim Phuong means "Golden Phoenix". We got two beautiful pictures of her! She had thick, dark hair that stood straight up and the sweetest little face we had EVER seen! We decided to name her Margaret Kim Claire Henderson, and we were calling her Maggie in a matter of hours. We knew just looking at her that she was the child meant to be with us. After we thought about it for a minute we realized that we could not have gotten our referral for her back in the last week of September because she had not even been born yet!

When we got her picture we also got a travel date, November 23, the day after Thanksgiving. I would be traveling alone. Partially because of financial reasons and partially because with all that was going on in the world we felt that one of us should be home with our boys. I was sad at the thought of leaving my boys and Josh for 5 days, but so excited at the thought of getting to meet our Maggie. I was not too scared about flying, although lots of people thought that I should be! Mom drove me to the Salt Lake City Airport and I left on an 8pm flight. From there I landed in LA, and then finally was on my way over the Pacific Ocean on a 15-hour flight from LA to Hong Kong.

My spirits improved quite a bit when I landed in Hong Kong and then less than an hour later was on my way to landing in Saigon. Landing in Saigon was a very emotional experience. I realized how close I was to my daughter and how far I was from home. I was a bit nervous about getting through the airport and finding my escort, but it all went very well.

Although it felt like an eternity, it was probably only 15 minutes or so before we got to Go Vap, the orphanage that Maggie was waiting for me in. The orphanage was a strange building, with lots of areas that were open to the outside, or sheltered on three sides. It made it fairly cool and airy. We walked passed some benches with several school-aged children on them and a small swingset that was empty and went up an outdoor staircase. At the top of the stairs we took off our shoes and went into the nursery. I was so overwhelmed I could hardly breathe, and before I knew it one of the nannies ran off and bent into a crib and came to me holding the tiniest little baby I had ever seen!

Her features were the same as the baby in our pictures, (and there was NO mistaking that hair!), but she was so much smaller than we had imagined. She almost did not look real. The nanny handed her to me and tears spilled down my face. She was very much asleep and unaware of her new, emotional mother! The nannies gave me a small plastic chair to sit in that I was not quite sure my bottom was going to fit into, and then after a minute or two they moved us into a room just for visiting adoptive parents. I sat with Maggie on my lap and unwrapped her. When they first handed her to me she was so swaddled that all I could see was a tiny little face and whole lot of hair. It was wonderful to count fingers and toes and touch her all over. She looked very healthy, albeit tiny. At 8 weeks I guessed her to be about 7-8lbs.

Being at the orphanage that day was bittersweet. I knew that it was going to be a nice long visit, but I also knew that I was going to have to say goodbye at the end of it.I had a wonderful afternoon caring for my baby. She was wide-awake and very snuggly. You could tell she was starting to really like it! The nannies were late bringing the bottles in and all of the babies were crying, but I was able to rock Maggie and sing to her to keep her calm. She would fuss at me, and then just look up at me and listen to me sing. She liked "Somewhere over the Rainbow"! I loved the fact that I was able to comfort her when she was upset. It really made me feel like her mom!

Saying good bye was awful. I had convinced myself that I was going to be ok. that I knew going over there that I was just getting to visit her and that since I knew I would be back in 40 days it would not be too bad.boy was I wrong! She was wide-awake when I had to hand her back at the end of our 4-hour visit and she cried and cried when I handed her back to the nanny. I couldn't even see for the tears that were filling my eyes. The nanny stood there and held her while I rubbed her hair and kissed her goodbye, and I finally had to turn away and walk out the door. I would have to say that leaving the orphanage that day was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

My trip home was very, very long. I just wanted to be home, since I could not be with Maggie anymore. I cried pretty much the whole way. People must have thought that I was nuts! All I could think was that, "I had to leave her" and I could not hold back the tears. It just felt wrong to be going away from her.

Two days after Christmas we got an awful phone call. Barbara called to tell us that Maggie was in the hospital with pneumonia. She said that her and four other of the babies in her nursery had gotten it and that her nanny from the orphanage was staying with her. I was heart broken! I cried and cried and our family prayed and prayed that she would be ok and that she would get well so that I could bring her home. I was hoping that Maggie would be back at the orphanage by the time I got there, but the day before I left we heard that she was still in the hospital on medication, but that she was eating well and feeling much better. I still felt like I could not relax until she was in my arms again.

I left for trip number 2 on January 4, 2002 on the same flights as I took for the first trip. I was less nervous about the trip so I slept much better on the flights. The hospital was just a few minutes from the hotel and was unlike anywhere I have ever been. The emergency room was outdoors in a parking lot type place. Beyond that were iron gates with guards into the actual hospital and you needed a pass to get in and a discharge slip to get out with a child. We walked past all different types of people and children, some of which looked very, very ill.

After a while I got called over to talk with the doctor. She told me that Maggie was doing much better but that she wanted her to stay in the hospital for 3-4 more days. I was crushed! Our G&R was the next day and although we could still have it, it seemed sad to have a G&R without a baby! And I was very concerned that being there with all of the other sick kids that she would end up catching something else, and not be able to come home with me as planned. But there was not much I could do. It was very frustrating, but I could not take her out of the hospital until the doctors said she could go, so I just tried to be as nice to them as possible!

I visited Maggie everyday, and usually spent many hours. Her "room" was one of many rooms with peeling blue paint and dirty floors. Each room had 5-6 cots with sick children on them, and usually the rest of the family. I was told that many of the families had traveled for hours to bring their child to this hospital. Laundry hung all over and bowls were stacked for meals. I cannot imagine having to live in that hospital for weeks as some of the families were.

The G&R took place on January 7. We went to the orphanage in a cab and picked up the director and then went to the Justice Department and sat for 2 hours before they finally called us in. It literally took less than 5 minutes! I just signed a few different places and that was it. Certainly not the big event I had thought that it would be.

I got special "permission slips" to take Maggie out of the hospital so that we could do things to help get us ready to go home. One day we took her to apply for her passport and get her visa photos taken and another day we took her to Cho Ray hospital for her INS exam. It was always great to have her with me and without an audience, but it was bittersweet because I always knew that I would be giving her back again.

At her Cho Ray exam she weighed in at 9lbs 2 oz, only a few ounces bigger than her brothers were at birth!

Finally, during my visit on Wednesday afternoon, I got the news I was waiting for. I was told that I could have her with me for good on Friday morning, which is when we were scheduled to go to INS. She had had a chest x-ray and her lungs were clear and they finally felt that she was well. I knew that the head doctor was very glad that she was being adopted and he asked me several times if I was really taking her back to America when she was well and when I said yes he would smile at me so big. It was great to see her people so happy about her adoption.

Back at the hotel Maggie slept on the bed while I clipped her toenails and fingernails and checked her out from head to toe. When she woke up she drank a bottle and I gave her a bath in the sink. She never once cried, just looked around from me to everything else and then back to me. She really enjoyed getting rubbed down with lotion and having her hair brushed. It was wonderful to take care of her! I was kind of worried that her hair would still stand up, but as soon was I washed it and brushed it, it laid down all pretty around her face.

We never had an adjustment phase or rough night or anything like that, probably because she was so young. I would say that it took about 48 hours for her to look at me like I was her mom though. At first I could lay her on the bed and she would just be happy whether or not I sat there with her. She would smile at me once and awhile and look at me lots and lots and enjoyed the attention, but you could just tell that she was used to people walking away from her all day. But once we had been together for almost 48 hours she decided that she did not want me to leave her and she would fuss when I put her down or walked away or let someone else hold her. It was wonderful! We bonded very, very fast and we were truly mother and daughter in no time at all!

Part of me was sad to be leaving Vietnam and the wonderful people. I know that I will miss that place very much until the day we return as a family. I wish very much that Josh and the boys could have made the journey with me. The flights home were actually very nice. At 3 months of age Maggie was very content to lie in my lap and either look at me, drink a bottle or sleep, and I can honestly say that she did not cry at all. I carried her in the Snuggle through the airports, had a backpack on my back and two big, wheeled suitcases. We were quite the sight!

We have now been home with our family for almost a month and we could not be happier. Maggie fell right into our family like she knew she belonged here. Her very first night with her Dad she took right to him! And her brothers are a constant source of entertainment and affection. They all adore her. Almost everyone that sees her comments on how tiny she is, but she has already put on over a pound and she is sleeping through the night and is very, very healthy.

It has been amazing to watch her blossom. She has found her voice, figured out how to use her hands and continues to grow and develop every day. She is very clingy to her Mom and Dad! She usually will let others hold her but she certainly has her times when only one of us will do. Lots of people have told us that it is obvious that she knows who her parents are! I still look at her and just cry with all of the feelings that I have for her, and in relief that she is really home. She is the daughter that I prayed for, and we love her with all of our hearts.

Our adoption journey was a 9-month journey of faith, much like my pregnancies with the boys. Maggie's coming into our family has been just as much of a miracle as the births of the boys, if not more so for me. There were so many days that we worried and stressed and cried about whether we would be able to afford it or whether it was really going to happen or whether or not she was ok or when she was going to come home. But all of our prayers were answered and she is worth all that we went through and much more. She is certainly the baby that was meant to be with us. When people ask Josh about her, he answers that, "She's perfect!".

The children of Vietnam will always be in my heart. It is my greatest wish that our adoption will inspire others to go on an adoption journey of their own. It is a journey that can be long and hard in many ways, but the miracle waiting at the end makes it a journey worth making indeed.

Read longer version of Maggie's adoption story.

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