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The Parker Family

Our Labor of Love

Our labor of love started in July 1997 when we knew it was time to expand the family with an international adoption.  Adoption had always been an option for us.  We figured there are so many children in the world who need homes that we should help one or in our case two.  It is definitely a very detailed and timely process that can be best described as "hurry up and wait".

For us, Vietnam was an easy choice.  On April 29,  1975 my family and I escaped from Vietnam.  We were admitted to the United States as refugees, sponsored by a loving family, and settled in to our new home in Minneapolis. I grew up as an American - almost too much.  I never wanted to learn much about my homeland, it brought too many bad memories for my parents, so I chose to ignore my heritage as much as possible.

But when Scott and I decided to start the adoption process we knew that adopting from Vietnam was a true connection of heart and home.  We had decided that leaving a legacy and carrying on traditions were going to be important things in our family and that led me to a path of curiosity.  It was almost 23 years later that we would return to my homeland to meet our daughters for the first time.

I was only 4 years old when my family left in April 1975.  I had no memories from my childhood and I was hoping that once I arrived in Vietnam again  it would all come back.  As it turned out, I felt like a tourist in my own homeland.  Our girls have motivated us to reconnect to me to my past and our desires to learn my heritage as I teach them theirs.

Well, after a lot of research into adoption agencies across the country we decided to work with Children's Home Society of Minnesota - the most amazing agency and staff that we could have ever wished for!   Our first introduction to "The Twins" was in March 1998 when the  "in-country coordinator", John,  was visiting Minnesota.  At a general information session he happened to mention, "Oh, by the way there is a set of twins that is available for adoption!".  Both of our mothers thought it was a great idea (as most impatient-grandparents-want to-be would be)!  After we heard their story, we decided to change all our paperwork to indicate that we also thought it was a great "chance".  After all, we just had to check one more box in the seemingly endless piles of paperwork.

After that first "introduction" in March we continued with the process and waiting and never really heard what had happened to "The Twins" as we kept referring to them.  Since we hadn't heard anything in the following months we assumed we were still on the list of 20 or so families waiting for one child.  The magic moment came on August 31, 1998 (just 17 days after we sent our dossier to Vietnam).  The conversation went something like this:

Social worker:  "Guess what?  I have good news!"
Caroline:  "You do?  We got a baby?"
Social worker:  "Yes, girls!"  (Caroline only heard "girl" and started to cry.)
Social worker:  "I said girlsss!"
Caroline:  "We got them?!  The Twins?!"

The details are a little blurry after the scream and tears of joy.  The phone calls to track down Scott were even more emotional, but definitely the best news that we could have ever planned for!  Our first pictures of the girls melted our hearts.  Thai Thanh and Thanh Thanh were so small!  They were born at 3.3 pounds and 3.5 pounds.  And at the time of our referral they were six months old and only 11.4 pounds and 10.8 pounds each.  But from all reports they were growing stronger and bigger!

As we made our final preparations - the packing, unpacking, baby proofing, shopping, painting, two of everything craziness - we continued the waiting for six more weeks! 

We received two last pictures before we were to arrive in John sent us our last "report".  He wrote, "The two girls are healthy, active, and lovely!  I bet you one to a hundred that you will fall in love with them the minute you see them and at least one of you will cry from happiness!"  It was the first of many times that John would be right!

We arrived in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) on November 4, 1998.  We were a mix of emotions nervous, excited, scared, and even calm, all at the same time. There was something very reassuring though about the fact that after all the work, waiting, hoping, wishing , and praying that it was finally happening! We were also thinking of my family still living in Saigon and what the experience would be like to see and meet them again.

The thoughts of becoming a family were first and foremost though!  After a grueling 33 hours we landed, the country was beautiful but  the airport scene was crazy, and it was horribly hot and muggy! We saw John through all the people with his "CHSM" sign and all we could do was smile!  We were so close to our babies - finally!   Within 24 hours we were going to hold our daughters for the first time!

Saigon is a bustling city!  It was sensory overload to take in all the sights, smells, and sounds of the city!  At every turn there was a story to be told.  There are so many bicycles and scooters that you don't know if you'll survive crossing the street!  It's very crowded, but we loved all the activities in the markets, on the streets, at the Temples, and even at night.  The authentic cuisine and crafts are wonderful - Christmas shopping had never been so easy for us.  Best of all though is the fact that  the Vietnamese people are very loving and kind!

Our hearts did break though when we saw the young children selling old postcards, cigarettes, stamps, old coins, and anything else you could imagine!  We knew this was an option for many families that had to make ends meet but after all, they were just children.  We were very sad when we realized the enormity of orpahned and abandonded children in need.  These were the pictures in our minds when we decided to really try to make a difference in the lives of more Vietnamese children when we created Catalyst Foundation (www.catalystfoundation.org).

We first held our girls on November 5, 1998 at the Vinh Long Children's Home Center.  The moment was amazing!  We were instantly in love with the two most beautiful girls we had ever seen.  We recognized Thanh Thanh  right away with her big smile, and her big sister, Thai Thanh, was sleeping nearby.  At eight months old they were both about 13 pounds and 23 inches long.  They had not begun to crawl yet and were just starting to sit on their own.  "The Twins" were both very happy, curious, and very much loved little babies.

The Center is staffed with a lot of caregivers that take care of primarily two children each.  It was small but clean and all the children were very well taken care of.  It was amazing to see how fast the caregivers could change clothes, get a bottle ready, and rock a baby to sleep (almost all at the same time!)  CHSM's program is very unique in one aspect of the process. A caregiver "travels" with us as we complete the adoption process in Vietnam during our 3-week stay.  It was a wonderful way to help all parties involved with the transition.  Our daughters had their primary nanny, who shared all the girls "baby days" with me, how she named them, their schedules, and even their favorite things to do.

Vinh Long is in the heart of the Mekong Delta.  It is about a three hour drive from Saigon and we cross the Mekong on a ferry just before Vinh Long. The main action is on and around the river.  There are multitudes of floating markets, boat homes, and beautiful people.   Farmers and families live and work on the river.  Vinh Long is a land of Legends.  The Mekong River brings happiness to the land and love to the small communities.  It is just south of my "hometown" My Tho.  It was a very emotional visit with my aunts, uncles, and cousins who had not seen me since I was 4 years old.  It was also wonderful to have them be so supportive of our adoption!

Our Giving and Receiving Ceremony in Vinh Long was November 9 , 1999 - lovingly referred to us as "Happy Adoption Day!".  Our lifelong dreams were now reality and we were truly honored.  We felt so thankful for the privilege and responsibility that had now been given to us.  There was still some paperwork to do to finalize everything but at least now the girls were in our arms and we weren't about to let them go!

We arrived home in Minneapolis on November 19, 1999 to an airport filled with our closest family and friends.  It was an exhausting trip and the girls did not do well at all, but we were finally able to stop sweating!  It was after all winter in Minnesota!  We were all tired but in the first two weeks of parenthood we knew that it was just the beginning of all the joys to come. "The Twins" adoption finalized on April 20, 1999 in the U.S. courts and they became American Citizens on December 9, 1999.

We are forever thankful to Children's Home Society of Minnesota, John and his staff in Vietnam, the Children's Home Center caregivers, Vinh Long Province leaders, and our family and friends in all their support to make our adoption journey a trip of a lifetime for our forever family!

Our daughters are a constant reminder of the power of love.   They have endless amounts of energy and laughter.    We look at them and see two sisters connected by more than blood and shared existence.  Two sisters who will draw strength and encouragement from each other as they move through life.  We look at them and see two sisters, two lovely daughters, and wonder how did we get so lucky?

Adoption is proof that dreams come true!

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