Home > Feature Family > Davis Family > Journey for Jacson Hai - An Adoption Story

Our journey for Jacson began long before we actually left the United States to pick him up. I always had felt I would be raising a child that I didn't actually give birth to, but was truly my child none the less. Even as a child I knew adoption would somehow be a part of my life. I have had the privilege of giving birth to four children. Now I have also had the privilege of adopting a child. I can tell you there is a difference between the way our children come into our family. There is no difference in the way they are loved. I feel as though I did in fact give birth to Jacson.

In the fall of 96 I began to feel it was time to pursue my dream of adoption. We had seen many shows on television regarding the plight of children in orphanages in other countries. At this time there seemed to be a focus on the Chinese orphanages. Naturally, we felt this was our call. We applied to have our home study done in September. This began in motion the mountains of paper work that needed to be done. I felt driven to get everything done as quickly as possible. I knew a child , our child was waiting for us. Every time I finished a pile of papers, another pile seemed to take it's place. Finally our home study was done and everything seemed to be in order. We were now ready to send our dossier over to China and wait to be matched with a child. Wrong! I had learned through an adoption parent support group that China was cracking down on an old law prohibiting parents with children to adopt children. We were told by our agency to pick another country to adopt from. I was devastated! I had poured my heart and soul into China. I had read everything I could get my hands on that had to do with China. Now it was not to be. After I calmed down I began to contemplate the idea of adopting from Vietnam as the agency had suggested. This began to feel very "right". We had to find a different agency as our first agency was just beginning their Vietnam program. After some praying and searching and praying some more , we settled on an agency in Chattanooga, Tn. IAAP, run by Dick Graham. I made a phone call to Dick and spoke with him for well over an hour. He was very kind and had an established program in Vietnam. I knew I had found the right agency for us.

Some of our paper work had to be redone since we were now trying to adopt from Vietnam. After completing the necessary paperwork, we were ready to send our dossier to Vietnam! At this time we were told to expect to be "matched " with our child sometime in May of 97, and travel would probably be sometime in August. So I now settled in to prepare for the "wait". I now allowed myself to begin to get the room ready. I had been hesitant to do this too soon. It now seemed like a reality that a new child would be joining our family! February 11th around 11:00 in the morning I had just returned from running some errands. The phone was ringing as I came through the door. When I answered the phone, Dick was calling from IAAP . He said he needed to talk to me and asked if I had a minute. My heart sank! I wondered what paper needed to be re-done. Then Dick said, "we have a little 15 month old boy who was originally referred to another family". I replied, "yes"? It still wasn't sinking in . Dick then told me the other family had just called to say they didn't want to take him. They were hoping for a younger child. Since we had said we would take a child of either sex up to age two, Dick called us. Finally I realized he was asking if we would like to adopt this little boy! I responded with a fervent YES! He then said he would fax us a picture of him. I was so excited I couldn't even think of a fax number! I called my husband at work and screamed into the phone, "we have a son"! He said he would meet me at Kinkos and we would get the faxed picture together. I called my mom and dad and sisters and brothers , friends, anyone I could think of! I took off for Kinkos. I don't even remember driving there. I felt like I was floating on air. My husband was already there but he had waited for me before getting the fax. There we stood in the middle of Kinkos smiling at the picture of the most beautiful baby! I was immediately in love with this little boy on the other side of the world!

Our travel date we were told would be May 21st. The next three months were the longest months of my life. I had the pictures of Jacson blown up and put them in frames and sent them to the grandparents. I laminated the smaller pictures and carried them in my purse . Everywhere I went his picture went with me. I showed Jacson's picture to any one who would look. I must have kissed his picture over 100 times a day. I constantly prayed for his safe keeping. It is a strange feeling to have your small child out of reach half a world away. As our travel date drew nearer I began to worry about the long journey we faced. I worried about leaving my other four children behind. I worried about the plane crashing , etc... My little nine year old daughter reminded me I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do, so everything would be all right. I was fine after that. The night before we left I thought I'd never get to sleep.

Our plane left the Cheyenne Airport at 6:00am on May 21st . We then landed in Denver and waited for our flight to LA. Once in Los Angeles we met up with the other families who we would be traveling with to Saigon. After finding the other six families , we all exchanged names, and information , and of course pictures of our beautiful children waiting in Soc Trang, Vietnam. We now seemed to travel together as one big family. The flight to Seoul , South Korea seemed very long! Our stop in Korea lasted one hour and then we were off to Bangkok, Thailand where we would spend the night before heading to our final destination, HoChi Minh, Vietnam formally known as Saigon. After arriving in Saigon and clearing customs and immigrations, which I found somewhat intimidating, we headed outside the airport to wait for our ride which would take us to the hotel. We waited over an hour and finally someone from our agency arrived with a minivan . We were all very excited to see her! Our excitement soon turned into disappointment when we learned we would not be going to the orphanage the next day as we thought. We were soon to learn that nothing happens quickly in Vietnam! We were told that a government inspection of the orphanage was causing the delay. All we could do was wait till the orphanage director gave us the okay to come and pick up our children. We set out to enjoy all that the city of Saigon had to offer. Wonderful people, great shopping, great food. The streets of Saigon were incredibly busy! I don't think I had ever seen that many bikes and mopeds in one place before in my life! We had been advised on how to cross these busy streets. You are to simply step down from the curb and begin walking, neither looking to the right or left. If you do this the motorists know how to avoid you, otherwise, if you look at the oncoming traffic you might hesitate and cause them to hit you. This was a bit daunting to say the least! Our first time out into the streets I decided to do exactly as I had been told. When we reached the intersection I simply walked into the street without looking. A truck almost hit me! When I looked back I noticed everyone else in my group (including my husband), had run back to the curb! I was a bit upset. I explained that I had only done what I had been told. They said next time I should first check for oncoming trucks! What a lesson!

The next couple of days were spent touring the Mekong Delta, and the Unification Palace. Both were very interesting and really helped to fill our time while we waited for word from the orphanage. Finally the good news came! We would be leaving the following morning at 4am for Soc Trang. I could scarcely believe our precious little boy would soon be in our arms! I was so excited I had a hard time thinking straight. We went down the street to a little grocery store to get a few items we needed for the long bus ride to Soc Trang. I sure had a difficult time getting to sleep that night. I felt like a child waiting for Santa to arrive. At four am our group, plus a group from Canada, left in a big bus fullof excitement and joy. The scenery along the way was fascinating. Beautiful and lush country side. Humble homes lined the rode giving us a glimpse into the lives of these wonderful country people. Our first stop was after about six hours of driving where we were to get on a ferry. This was our first "pit" stop and boy what an experience! We were ushered into a shack and had to pay 2000 dong which is equivalent to 20 cents in US money. Then they showed us a stall with a wood slat floor. We were all a bit perplexed as to what to do. We all stood there with blank stares. One of the Vietnamese women saw our confusion and motioned for us to "go " on the floor and then throw a bucket of water over it. Boy was I glad I was only third in line! That was quite an experience! After this we were ushered onto the ferry. The people of the town were gathered around us "rich Americans" hoping to make a few sales. I found this some what difficult to endure. They never gave up, ever! We had one more ferry ride after that and then at last we were parked in front of the orphanage. My heart began to pound so loud I thought the others would be able to hear it. They couldn't though cause their hearts were also pounding! I was shaking I was so nervous. I was so fearful something would go wrong.

We soon found ourselves sitting at a large table sipping warm bottled water as the director of the orphanage was speaking to us via an interrupter. She said a few words and we were then instructed to sign our names in a large book. Our signature was a promise to send yearly updates on our child until he reaches the age of 18. After the signing, I began to notice the caregivers outside the building carrying the children. I spotted our little Jacson right away. I had to wait though until they called our name. He was very scared and I wasn't sure what to do . The director indicated for me to just take him from his caregiver's arms. He cried loud! I took this as a good sign. He knew I was a stranger and had a right to be frightened! I was able to calm him down some by taking him over to a window. He loved looking outside. His arms were still pushing against my chest to let me know he wasn't quite sure about me. However, I think he was beginning to realize I was not a threat. We were quickly taken to another building where we were to change them out of their "orphanage clothes" and into the clothes we had brought. This scene was one of mass confusion. Babies crying and people talking and excited. Suddenly we were told to hurry to the bus. The people from the orphanage were anxious for us to leave. This was more confusion than they are used to . When we got to the bus, the bus driver was no where to be found. As we waited for the bus driver a crowd of people from the village of Soc Trang began to appear . They all seemed to be very happy and excited to see us. They were wishing us well and bidding farewell to the "lucky babies" going to America! Jacson cried off and on during all of this. By the time we were on the bus and on our way he calmed down and fell asleep in my arms. All I wanted to do was stare and his precious little face. I cried , and cried hoping if this was a dream , I wouldn't wake up. The 10 hour ride back to the hotel in Saigon seemed to go by fast. Nothing could bother me now , I had my little boy in my arms.

We were back at the hotel around 10:00pm. They entire hotel staff was waiting at the front door to welcome us back and congratulate us. Before we could finally go to sleep, we first had to give Jacson a bath and put the scabie treatment on him. The next morning I decided to start Jacson on the antibiotic I had brought from home. I was pretty sure he had Bronchitis. Being an experienced mother of four other children I knew the need for medication when I saw it. Jacson had a bad cough and a fever. He felt pretty miserable and wanted to be held and cuddled. I was only too happy to comply! A couple of days later the medications seemed to be kicking in and he was a much happier camper!

Of course we took him everywhere with us. He really enjoyed seeing the new sights. He especially enjoyed the taxi rides. There was always something that caught his attention. Our time was coming to leave Saigon and head for Bangkok. This was were the US Embassy was and where we would get the visa's for the children. We had some what of a scare when it was close to the time to leave VN. It looked as though the passports for the children would not arrive in time to leave as scheduled. However, at the last moment they came through!

We arrived in Bangkok late afternoon and went directly to our hotel. The hotel was much fancier than the one we stayed at in Saigon. However we missed the warm , friendly, staff back at the Rose Hotel in Vietnam. We found Bangkok to be very hectic. The traffic in Bangkok made the traffic in Saigon seem mild. As we entered the hotel in Bangkok I immediately spotted a bakery with cakes twirling around in a glass case. I told the waiter I would like a piece and pointed to the one I wanted. Evidently he took me literally and gave me that piece that had been in the case for who knows how long! A cream cake left twirling around in a glass case with a warm light in it spells , FOOD POISENING ! I wish I had the will power and the sense not to eat it. Unfortunately I had been craving sweets and ate it anyway. Even as I was eating the warm cake I was telling myself , "this shouldn't be warm, don't eat it"! Boy did I pay for it the next day! We were waiting in a line at the US Embassy for the final stages to get our son's visa when all of a sudden I felt like I had been hit in the stomach by a Mack truck! All I could do was try taking a few Pepto-Bismal tablets and suffer through. When we got back to the hotel I went to bed and stayed there for a good part of the day. The diarrhea lasted for the next several weeks.

The trip home was made difficult due to the fact that I couldn't be more than six feet from a bathroom! On the plane ride home Jacson did pretty well, except for the last hour or so from Seoul to LA. He had been experiencing "night terrors" which seemed to come on when his sleep was interrupted. The last hour of our flight we had to stay in our seats due to some turbulence. Not being able to get up and walk around and rock him made it so difficult. He screamed and kicked , through his head back , arched his back, so much that I was barely able to hold onto him. His screaming was horrific! People were staring at us and wondering why we couldn't do anything to stop him! We were experienced parents but this had us baffled. A lady behind us stuck a Snickers bar through the seats and demanded I "stick it in his mouth"! I tried politely to explain he wasn't old enough to eat a Snickers bar. She answered back, "my husband can't take it any more"! I just ignored her after that . She obviously had not clue as to what we were going through. My husband was beginning to wonder what we had gotten ourselves into! We were so very tired and drained by the time our plane landed in LA. We were however grateful to be back in the good ol US! Still, our journey was not over. We had a three and a half hour lay over and then a hour and half flight to Denver, and then another two hour layover and a thirty minute flight to Cheyenne, Wyoming! Home Sweet Home! I was so sick from the food poisoning that we considered staying the night in LA. When we thought of the friends and family waiting to welcome us home at the airport we decided we were this "close" why not keep going?

Finally, the big moment had arrived. When our plane touched down in Cheyenne I felt a lot of emotions well up inside of me. I couldn't believe our little boy was finally home. We were met by many family and friends . Jacson was holding onto me with a white knuckled death grip! He was a permanent fixture to my side for a while. Soon he began to loosen up and unfold. Everyday brought changes . Jacson's adjustment has been much easier than we had anticipated. We have had him home now for seven months and he is a totally different child than the frightened , sick boy we first held at the orphanage. He is pretty much like any other little American two year old. He is happy and healthy . He is very sweet and lovable. He brings us more joy every minute than I ever thought possible. We are so happy to have this beautiful child in our family. This is where he belongs. We know it is important for him to always remember where he was born. We have brought some of the Vietnamese culture into our family. We hope to stay in touch with the other families who were on our trip with us. It is important that these children who spent the first months and years of their lives together stay in touch. We believe this will be very important to them someday.

Iam a huge advocate for international adoption. I hope other families will consider opening their homes and hearts to these beautiful children. I am grateful that my four biological children have been able to experience first hand what is truly important in life. Sharing what you have with others. My children have expressed that they plan to adopt when they grow up and get married. This pleases me a great deal. We hope to add again to our family in a couple of years. I sure look forward to returning to the beautiful country of Vietnam!

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